Accept The Love You Want.

Almost every woman at one point in life has visited a jewelry store and found a piece of art that they fell in love with. Shortly after falling in love with the way the light plays off of a diamond, or the way the piece makes you feel you look at the price tag. The price tag is normally determined by the value or worth of a diamond. For some of histories most famous jewelry their worth is outstanding. One ring stands out among all  the rest an 18 karat sapphire surrounded by 14 white diamonds. In 1981 when it first rested on Diana Spencer's hand it was worth $65,000 U.S. dollars. That was the starting price for a one of a kind gem fit for a Princess.

I believe that their is a lot to be said about how people perceive value and worth. Single ladies might benefit from viewing themselves as a fine gem. This is not a new or foreign concept "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies." Proverbs 31:10 We have an epidemic of counterfeit gems  in our generation. As I sit and listen to young women speak of love and relationships I am shocked to discover few stop to ponder their worth and value. Most of this can be linked back to an identity crises of not knowing ones value and worth. In order to appraise something it must be inspected thoroughly. As a young woman you should never enter a new relationship or put yourself on the market without knowing your worth. If you go to a jewelry store and want to purchase a one of a kind piece of art your have to be willing and able to pay the value of the gem. The majority of young woman today are like diamonds in the rough. They are clouded with insecurity, lack of direction, confidence, and knowledge of how to negotiate their price.

I encourage everyone male or female to determine your worth. Shake off the dust bit by bit and shine the way you were meant to shine. For some that may look like getting in touch with their dreams and goals, granting forgiveness, letting go of the past, or walking in courage to truly discover who you are and what your worth is. When you are ready to be placed on the market make sure you only accept the love you want. If you have a suitor that can not pay the full value of your worth do not change your price tag and throw a discount on your value. When we truly fall in love with something we want be it a designer handbag or Louboutin shoes we will take the time to save up for our big purchase. Any suitor that is worthy of you will do the same. When you spot the individual that can not pay the price that it takes to be with you stay true to yourself. That individual will either leave the store or come back with the correct amount of funds. Young people allow men and women to operate in their lives when they simply don't belong. If an individual is constantly lying, cheating, taking you for granted, or not giving the kind of love you are seeking than stop negotiations and put yourself back on the market! Do not talk yourself into a deal that you know is not good for you. Wait for the shopper who places great value and worth in their purchase. Only accept the love you want.

I encourage everyone to take the time to figure out and evaluate who you are. If you know who you are then you know what is compatible with your personality and lifestyle. It will allow you to make a confident decision when accepting relationships of all kinds in your life. I finish with this thought some of the most valuable things take time. The funny thing about time is when it is applied to something with character it increases the value of the object. Today that famous ring rests on the hand of a new young woman about to become a Princess. The current approximate value of the famous diamond and sapphire ring is 2.5 million dollars. The saying is true.......some things get better with time.

~Da'Lynn~

True Forgiveness

"I heard a definition once: Happiness is health and a short memory! I wish I'd invented it, because it is very true."
— Audrey Hepburn

It has occurred to me recently that forgiveness is only truly obtained when actually practiced. We have all been at a point in our lives when we needed to forgive someone. I find that most of us do not forgive because we are afraid of what will happen if we truly let go of the fear that normally hinders us for walking and living out forgiveness. But what if we did let go and let God do what he needs to do. We were not created to walk in fear. We were created to walk in love and perfect love drives out all fear.

I am personally holding myself accountable for speaking, walking, and acting in love. To put the past behind me and not let it define me. To clearly define where I want to go and then enjoy the journey that God places before me to get there. I used to get so frustrated when I would go through difficult times. But I can honestly say I am so thankful for the process of refinement. Sometimes God must burn the impurities off of us so what is remaining he can use to bring glory to him.  I know that I trust Jesus and I find myself saying that daily. I know that he will work out what needs to be worked out his way. So trust God with whatever you are going through and engross yourself in becoming dependent on him each step of the way and trust that if you take the first step in the forgiveness he will guide your next move and work it out.

Who am I again?!?

I am fresh off a 4 year relationship....now I will not go into details about what exactly happened out of respect and privacy for the other party that was involved, but I am more than happy to share with you the details of the aftermath in all its Kleenex induced emotional retrospect. As most of you who have gone through any significant relationship knows after the crying, prayers, calling all your friends to talk about what happened, and chocolate eating is over you realize that yes its just me again! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW!?!   

I found myself asking God okay so what now. You see the thing for many of us ladies that we would never actually admit is after the failed relationship you feel completely lost. Many of us...no matter how ambitious we are get focused on the "We" of the relationship. You have another moment of realization when you look at the person in the mirror you have become and your not sure how much of it is "You" anymore and how much of the reflection is there because of the "We". Now I will admit that I am discovering good and bad things in the "We" reflections. But when it comes to "Me" I am clueless.

Goals and experiences I wanted to have got pushed to the side. I find myself asking how significant are those things to me now, what is in my future now that the reality of failure has set in? You see I was so invested in my relationship that I stopped investing in myself. I find myself slowly getting to know who I am again. I re-arranged the living room, cleaned out the fridge, threw away the snacks, put the memories in a box, and started from scratch. It has been a slow process some enjoyable some not. You have to take stoke in yourself after a break-up not just the trivial things but the emotional aftermath and what lead to the break-up, and remember go easy on yourself. Someone wanted to be with you so there had to be something special about you. Self-evaluation is a necessary step in the process but not self torture.

I leave you with this thought.....we come into the world alone and leave alone but most of our lives are shared with others through relationships. The best relationship you can invest in is the one with yourself. After you have seriously traveled on this path you will find it leads to a relationship of discovery with God and then with someone else. So for now if you are single or taken INVEST IN YOURSELF! You won't be disappointed!

~Da'Lynn~