I am fresh off a 4 year relationship....now I will not go into details about what exactly happened out of respect and privacy for the other party that was involved, but I am more than happy to share with you the details of the aftermath in all its Kleenex induced emotional retrospect. As most of you who have gone through any significant relationship knows after the crying, prayers, calling all your friends to talk about what happened, and chocolate eating is over you realize that yes its just me again! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO NOW!?!
I found myself asking God okay so what now. You see the thing for many of us ladies that we would never actually admit is after the failed relationship you feel completely lost. Many of us...no matter how ambitious we are get focused on the "We" of the relationship. You have another moment of realization when you look at the person in the mirror you have become and your not sure how much of it is "You" anymore and how much of the reflection is there because of the "We". Now I will admit that I am discovering good and bad things in the "We" reflections. But when it comes to "Me" I am clueless.
Goals and experiences I wanted to have got pushed to the side. I find myself asking how significant are those things to me now, what is in my future now that the reality of failure has set in? You see I was so invested in my relationship that I stopped investing in myself. I find myself slowly getting to know who I am again. I re-arranged the living room, cleaned out the fridge, threw away the snacks, put the memories in a box, and started from scratch. It has been a slow process some enjoyable some not. You have to take stoke in yourself after a break-up not just the trivial things but the emotional aftermath and what lead to the break-up, and remember go easy on yourself. Someone wanted to be with you so there had to be something special about you. Self-evaluation is a necessary step in the process but not self torture.
I leave you with this thought.....we come into the world alone and leave alone but most of our lives are shared with others through relationships. The best relationship you can invest in is the one with yourself. After you have seriously traveled on this path you will find it leads to a relationship of discovery with God and then with someone else. So for now if you are single or taken INVEST IN YOURSELF! You won't be disappointed!
~Da'Lynn~
